Category Archives: love, dating and situations

Early pregnancy and sex.

 

A few weeks ago, both the students in their eighth grade and twelfth grades (class eight and form four) did their exams and one thing that was noticed was that most of the girls were pregnant and some of them even gave birth in the exam room as the exams were going on. This caused many people talking about it and even providing solutions to why our society could be ‘rotten’ according to them but I think they are baseless if they don’t look deep into this matter.

But, my main issue is how they put all the blame on the boy-child as the cause of all this. Don’t you think there is always a mutual agreement between these parties before they have sex. they are not forced. So, if the Government have to punish people because of this issue, they have to be treated equally.

below is a video of me talking extensively about that issues and some of the think i think about it…

 

 

What do you think about that?

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Is it dating or intercourse in campo!!!

 

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So, in many occasions, I have heard both ladies and men in campo saying… ‘’ me I don’t date guys in campo…’’ then who do you date? Or, is it that you just want to look expensive or instill fear into your fellow campus guy who have identified you as ‘interest?’ but, this statement is usually common with ladies, men are the most flexible creatures on earth and will always go with any offer if possible (Please, men do not kill me). On the other hand, those ladies who are perhaps ‘’down to earth’’, what do they do? Are they the ones who deserve dating campus guys then?

From my own view point, I think dating in campus exists and it should not be exaggerated as people do make it look like an unwanted object fell from space.  I think campus is just a normal stage that each and every Kenyan youth will at least always go through and it’s only that it’s always loaded with a lot of freedom which is self-served. Your parents know and wish back at home that you are now a grown up and only imagine how responsible you are in campo, the lecturers too but they do know what you do in the hostels. Therefore when it comes to dating, the only virtues that we luck is responsibility and some kind of little respect at some time.

Due to the environment being a converging factor, you meet some cute lady, a choice of your heart, you get attracted to each other at first sight and in two days’ time, you are already lovers of the day and due to the forces and rules of love, you have to be together most of the time, campo becomes your only environment. She visits you in your room and since she is also scavenging, she is not ready to resist anything, well, there you have your treat. Now that you have discovered sugar that is readily available you begin to exploit deeper and this won’t be delayed because nearly all ladies in campo are always beautiful and with your manipulative tricks, you get another one so quick and ‘’eating’’ each other becomes new order of the day. Attention is now shifted from dating to ‘’eating’’ but in your mind you know how much you are dating.

It is therefore true that that becomes the common trend in nearly all campoz, and the issue is really overrated by everybody, plus, sex has actually not remained a secret anymore nowadays, it has become as easy and  so open to talk about like telling your friend how partied at a joint in tao. Disrespect then comes in after nearly most ladies have been used and shared by most men who sometimes talk about them when they pass around. You hear a ninja saying ‘’… hii kitu pia kimekulwa na watu wengi, a whole faculty has worked on her…’’ including him but he doesn’t want to confirm. Now she has become a ‘’kitu’’. Most ladies realizing that they have been used and the ninjas have now shifted their target to new admissions or to other campuses, they now develop a plan to play safe, ‘’…I don’t date campus guys…’’ in case they encounter a new campus guy who’s never tried them. This is just to make you fear them and think that they are more expensive and out of your league. At this time they have satisfied all the pleasure anxieties that were high in them and are beginning to see reality now that there is more in relationship than what she was doing… at least, that is a stage that at least any campus student has to go through unless you were so smart.

Now, talking about sexual intercourse, I think no one is always forced at gun point to remove his /her clothes but is always done willingly or one thing usually leads to another. I may therefore say that it’s dating, but, with little or no respect due to the available freedom that sometimes do not limit you not to exploit the chance you have. Please have some responsible dating game that will leave each of you happy and not regret later, and, if it’s a must to engage in intercourse, use a condom. Mold a good personality that will lead you onto doing the right things.

As always, God bless you.

Simon Ouma

CLARITY IS A GIFT, FEAR IS NOT.

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Have you ever been into this situation where you have a friend of the opposite sex and one member of the friendship really wishes hard to enter into a romantic/sexual relationship but the other person does not? It’s mostly men who experience this situation due to fear of rejection from their ladies friends and you know it so well, it’s called friend zone, right? Well if you have, then I have a little treat for you and your miserable situation.

How did it even begin in the first place?

So, I had finished my classes for that day and since it was still too early to go to the rooms, I decide to take a little rest on the benches that were outside the class then my friend James walks by and sits beside me, from the look of things, things seem not to be okay with him, so I ask him what’s wrong with him?

‘’I met this lady like two months ago, she is so hot and curvy, she approached me and told me how lonely she was and with no friends, we exchanged our contacts and the rest continued that night…’’ ehe, ‘’…so at the beginning, things used to be okay, she really attracted me at the first sight and I imagined that there would be something between us, ….’’ Then what happened? ‘’… I really fear telling her that right now because I think she has just become too much of my friend and I fear that she might reject me or tell me she has a boyfriend…’’ but how does your texts look like? ‘’…she tells me she is bored but when I try to introduce some love stories to complement her, she really doesn’t show interest and diverts stories always…’’ have you ever asked her out on a date? ‘’… yes…’’ and then, ‘’… she says there is no need to go out on a date, I may just buy food we go eat at her place or, she just says NO.’’

From that little conversation, I could clearly tell that my friend had been friend zoned and is at a greater risk now. No flirty texts, no sexy selfies… this means that he didn’t corner this lady’s feelings at the right time when everything could have worked perfectly as he intended and when this lady still had romantic feelings towards him. Instead, he became her friend for too long until the lady got used to him and until he will just serve in that friend capacity the rest of his time. The lady now have him as a ‘’boyfriend’’ who is actually not a boyfriend. Just cure her boredom and listen to all her problems.

Now, you have to stop the rains from beating you and be safe from this situation;

Once you are in the friend zone, it’s usually hard to exit since you have now known and gotten used to each other that it’s so difficult for you to loose each other. If you can, quit as first as you can or, look for a girlfriend. Your friend zoner might get jealous of your new catch and break up with you.

But, if you never waited for that long for it to turn into a friend zone, then here are some of my tips that can save you from the situation from building up.

Please, as soon as you meet that lady, focus on what you want. Try to make your intentions clear so that you don’t give her a chance to manipulate the situation for you because ladies are always very good at manipulations. The more time you waste with them, the more she becomes a household for you and things get worse.

Are you worried of other guys? You don’t not have to imagine that life began when she first met you, it so obvious that there must have been other guys in her life cycles. The faster you act, the faster you are likely to get feedback whether you are accepted or rejected. Here also, the more you wait, the more you end up being in the friend zone.

Always try so hard to outdo and win her since sometimes she might have selected you as the best more so when she is a serial friend zoner, meaning she will give you so much attention that you need that makes you think you are going somewhere…

Finally, do not be afraid of rejection, if she was not meant for you, just accept and move on, you will always find another one who will accept you.

Therefore, after all your trials and determinations, ask her if she will be your girlfriend or girl lover? If she says YES, you win, if she says NO you still win, that will be a good opportunity for you to stop wasting your time with someone who does not have the same feelings as you are and look for someone who will love you. CLARITY IS A GIFT, FEAR IS NOT.

As always, God bless you

Simon Ouma

Is it authentic, is it real, and is it a must!!! ‘’we are just friends’’

 

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This is probably the most common phrase among ladies and some one percent of men who are wasting their time and resources. The ‘’we are just friends’’ phrase is a defense mechanism that is always used by the ladies not knowing at the back of their mind that it’s a defense mechanism. What do I mean? I most occasions, this is what many ladies do have set up in their minds only but is not always present in her ‘’man-friend’s’’ mind. Huh! Still, what do I mean? For men, nothing exists in their mind as ‘’we are just friends’’ but sees you as a potential interest just waiting for one perfect day to strike an action on you and you won’t hesitate his actions obviously.

So, you find two ladies sited in a café for an evening catch up after a long day’s work. Both of them are engaged and they know each other’s boyfriend so well like the back of their hands. They are chatting and catching up with the latest happenings, they have not seen each in a month now but always talk a lot on phone. From the office where one of them works, this hot new guy have just been posted and he is so eye catching that the ladies can’t just hold their pants. And the mushene begins… ‘’I met this guy at job like a month ago when he was posted at our branch, he is so nice, he has been treating me so well, sometimes he takes me for coffee, he has a nice house, he is not married…’’ from there alone, you can clearly that tell that that is already more than ‘’we are just friends.’’ Then, her friend gets surprised but with divided thoughts she jumps in like… ‘’wow! That’s nice, why haven’t you introduced me to him? But you have a boyfriend who loves you!!!’’  Still that is a mere insult to her and she goes ahead and says how her boyfriend wouldn’t know about him coz ‘’we are just friends.’’. Huh! Interesting.

And the phrase continues, the new friend is even introduced to her only girlfriend and everyone seems to have liked him, they are even forgetting about the authentic boyfriend now and it becomes a routine now that every evening, they catch up for coffee in tao after work. The parable later begins when this person you keep saying ‘’we are just friends’’ starts serving more than just a friend duties because you are giving him more time than even your actual boyfriend, he is your boyfriend who is not your boyfriend. Whenever you are bored, you go to him and he narrates you interesting stories as he offer you his chest to lie on, he hold your hand whenever you are walking together, he buys you gifts and flowers, you go out for a date and he  calls you for an  hour at night. My friend, you have just entered yourself into a frying pan which you will not escape easily, you have just been trapped with all your emotions and feelings and this is a perfect score for boy child and whenever he would want a favor from you, you won’t hesitate but just give in cheating yourself at the back of your mind that you are just sympathizing with him. You will only know that your shallow bits of wisdom ended when you go with him for a late-night dinner at your favorite joint and it’s too late for you to go back to your crib in Kasa and the only option is to go camp overnight in his nice house at Parklands only to wake up in the morning lying in his bare hairy chest and he is proudly asking you how ‘’was it?’’ just to confirm if it’s true, you check if you have your clothes on which you don’t have, and for surety, but he was at least he was responsible and protective, you spot three fresh used condoms just scattered on the floor. Well, now go ahead and brag to your friends if the phrase still remains ‘’we are just friends.’’

In my one percent of wisdom, for the ‘’we are just friends’’ to work, it must not get past holding hands, hanging out for almost 80% of you available time, not engaging each other nearly in everything you do plus, you have to be so smart to draw a difference between being a friend and being an interest or in other words, being a boyfriend without being an actual boyfriend. You never know when the flag will follow the wind. Be faithful to your boyfriend or your girlfriend because men too fall in traps. Do not always stimulate your feelings when not necessary, they will produce a response and if you are weak, you can’t stop them.

Simon Ouma